Jan 6, 2008

New Realizations...

So, I was with my ex for about 6-7 years. During these years, I learned a lot about myself and a lot about him. You will NEVER hear me say I regret my marriage or dating him, ever. Period. He was the light of my life and my best friend. But, yesterday we got into it about the divorce and in his rage he spits out very nasty comments and names to me. And after I got the last text message, I sat there and thought, I was not raised with this language, nor did I ever think my husband would EVER use that language towards me. But when we were fighting or have fought in the past, the words never phased me, I often used them as well. And that is very disturbing. It is disturbing that I let those harsh words and comments be used towards me so frequently and to also just take it and not think anything about it. So, for my future, I know that I want someone who will NEVER EVER use language and hateful words to me or anyone dear to me. I know there will always be fights, but I'm now realizing, productive fighting, without the use of hateful and foul words, could have possibly changed my marriage around? It hurts to think it became the norm, because I know it is NOT the norm.

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